The Fear of Being Alone & Making Friends

           I often wonder where the disconnect lies in the idea that it’s possible to feel so low, so beneath yourself while others seem to be walking above you on stilts, avoiding everyday anxieties that you so eagerly wish would disappear. When you then realize that there are far fewer stilted people in the world and that many of them lack any sort of balance to remain so high up. Many of them would fall, and because of our egocentric view of the world and the idea that those walking through life on stilts are bad people, we would refuse to hold out our arms and catch them when they fall—and many of them do.

           We fear being alone, but we also fear being around strangers, and what constitutes an individual as a stranger? Do we truly know the person in front of us? Are there factors that may prevent you from furthering your relationship with such a stranger? Or are you simply afraid of the idea of being abandoned by the once stranger, now friend? — The anticipation of future complications from prior experiences often distracts us from realizing that the stranger across from you is most likely feeling the same way that you are. And neither of you even think to ask the other if they’re feeling the same, which leaves a void of disconnect.

           The fear of being alone. The fear of making new friends. The fear of trusting someone else with what is essentially your life… It’s terrifying, but that’s okay. The world’s meant to be terrifying and overcoming. 

           It’s natural to feel as though it’s not okay to feel alone, because there’s sometimes this worry—deep, deep down—that we will cease to exist if we are not observed by others. It’s natural to forget that by existing, we’re observing ourselves in the same way. We lose the idea that we, too, exist within the same space as others, and that our existence matters all the same. 

           And so, this notion of fear, that the universe is a dangerous place, is untrue. How can the universe be dangerous unless you were dangerous to yourself? If you allow yourself to love your very essence, you will also find yourself falling in love with the universe. 

           This fear of the universe—the fear of one’s inner self—can only project hostile fear onto others. It is necessary to understand that there really isn’t anything to fear. Believe what you want, be who you want, and understand who you truly are, because that’s how you’ll come to love the universe, and yourself. 

           And by making friends with yourself, you’ll have an easier time making friends with others. You’ll have an easier time projecting love onto others, regardless of any intrusive thoughts that may manifest about them or yourself. Because there won’t be any intrusive thoughts; just love, pure love, for the human, not just the person. It’s okay to make new friends—with yourself and with others.